Guest Panel Week 2 Predictions

Week 2 Guest Panel Games

1. OSU at Texas

OSU (FUNK, SHADY, CLEATUS, DEERE, GREEK, OLD BAG, SPAM, PHILLY, XBOX)   Texas (BATMAN)

FUNK- Inconsistency at QB spelled defeat for the Buckeyes last year.  Now it's the Longhorns' turn to struggle on offense.

SHADY- It will not be a pretty game defensively.  There will be more than 60 points scored. The Smith-Ginn combination looked amazing and will dominate.

CLEATUS- Everything is bigger in Texas....especially our margin of victory!

BATMAN- It is insulting when you abbreviate Batman into bat.  Please show due respect.  It would be too unbelievable if both Ohio State and Penn State win and were undefeated heading into their matchup Sept 23.
GREEK- Ohio State; but in the battle of best QB names ever, TX QB Colt McCoy wins, hands down. If there's a God in this world, his nickname HAS to be Six Shooter by the end of the season.
GUAPO- Heisenberg told me I would change the outcome by trying to predict it, so I abstain.

OLD BAG- Dare I say OSU. Yeah the Texas QB looked good, but who doesn't against the Mean Green (what the deuce is that?). It'll be a close one though, but I look to the Buckeye offense to be too much for the Texas Marijuana defense.

SPAM- osu will dominate texas, especially with hopes that their star defender will be defending his stupid ass in court saturday instead of playing ball on the field.

XBOX-Overtime thriller

 

2. Penn State at Notre Dame

Penn State (CLEATUS, GUAPO, OLD BAG, SPAM)    Notre Dame (FUNK, SHADY, BATMAN, DEERE, GREEK, PHILLY, XBOX)

FUNK-I wish these two had played last season.  This year, I don't think Penn State has what it takes to hang with Notre Dame.

SHADY- I really don't want to pick them but I think they pull it off again.  Quinn and the offense looked like a big poop stain and should have lost.  I don't see them getting that much better.  They get some good luck and win by the smallest margin.

CLEATUS- This is one of 3 losses for Notre Dame this year.  In an unrelated story, chances are likely that Joe Paterno's hip gives out and is admitted to a nursing home. 

GREEK- Notre Dame; but only because the game is at ND. Touchdown Jesus will certainly have to help out the Golden Domers with this one, considering their lackluster performance at GA Tech.
GUAPO- Better put my "Brady Quinn for Heisman!" T-shirt with my "Dewey defeats Truman" newspaper.

OLD BAG- Please Penn State, it is in your corner to help end all the Charlie Weis and Brady Quinn talk. You would think that Notre Dame has already won the national title, by squeeking past GT. Go Lions.

SPAM- even though charlie wies has coached in the nfl (not as a head coach, but everyone sure likes to think he has) and can walk up and down the sidelines more than most on the field, joe pa's skinny old ass will be able to take notre dame.  i hate penn state.  i hate notre dame more though.

 

3. Arizona at LSU

Arizona (  )  LSU (FUNK, SHADY, CLEATUS, BATMAN, DEERE, GREEK, GUAPO, OLD BAG, SPAM, PHILLY, XBOX)

FUNK- Arizona sucks.

SHADY- No competition

GREEK- LSU; the Greek has always had a desire to attend an LSU home game and experience the tailgating that is LSU (despite it's apparent lack of Greek specialities). Perhaps the Greek will bring along some souvalki to share; it goes well with crawfish and gumbo.
GUAPO- El Guapo offers a truce.  He will agree to stop making fun of the PAC-10 if their teams will agree to stop sucking.

OLD BAG- LSU is actually going to be the only home team I pick to win this week.

SPAM- in honor of lsu's qb, i am going to name my firstborn son ja-nicholas.  it sounds pretty catchy right??  catchy enough to base my pick on lsu.

 

4. Georgia at South Carolina

Georgia (FUNK, SHADY, CLEATUS, BATMAN, DEERE, GREEK, GUAPO, OLD BAG, SPAM, PHILLY)  South Carolina (XBOX)

FUNK- Spurrier may be coming off his first ever win in Starkville, but Mississippi State is no Georgia.

SHADY- South Carolina didn't look good in their opener.   Bulldogs love to eat cocks.

GREEK- Georgia; look for the Ol' Ballcoach to need a new visor by the end of this one

GUAPO- Somebody better tell Leon Lett to keep both hands around that pigskin this week.

OLD BAG- Georgia... the dogs....too much for a cock to handle (I consulted Nick Finnegan on this one).

 

5. Clemson at Boston College

Clemson  (FUNK, SHADY, CLEATUS, DEERE, GREEK, OLD BAG, PHILLY)  Boston College  (BATMAN, GUAPO, SPAM, XBOX)

FUNK-This is the year Clemson finally lives up to some of it's potential in the ACC.

SHADY- Clemson might be the most underrated team this year.  They get it done up north.

GREEK- Clemson; insert your own witty comment here.

OLD BAG- I'm sticking with my southern roots and going with Clemson, but it'll be close.

SPAM- i'm picking bc for my boys dan and mike back in newton... and for that dumbass on the millionaire game who missed the $100 question...he was from newton, suckas!

 

6. Oregon State at Boise State

Oregon State (GUAPO, OLD BAG, SPAM, PHILLY)  Boise State (FUNK, SHADY, CLEATUS, BATMAN, DEERE, GREEK, XBOX)

FUNK- I'm surprised Oregon State is even making this trip.  After they lose, don't expect them to ever do it again, except perhaps for a crappy bowl game.

SHADY- The blue turf will confuse a lot of people.

CLEATUS- Why are we predicting this game?  Who cares?

GREEK- Boise State; the Broncos have burned the Greek in the past (see last year's pick of Boise State over Georgia), but, I just love that blue turf in Idaho. Call it an Idaho bias, if you will.

OLD BAG- This was also a tough one, basically cause I love the blue turf at Boise St. but I think the Beavers are actually not distracted by the turf color. Oregon St.

SPAM- remember oregon trail?  that game rocked!

 

7. Oklahoma State at Arkansas State

Ok. St. (FUNK, SHADY, BATMAN, DEERE, GREEK, GUAPO, OLD BAG, SPAM, PHILLY, XBOX)   Ark. St. (CLEATUS)

FUNK- Arkansas State sucks.

CLEATUS- I think Arkansas is kind of the like the weird uncle state of the United States.  You just kind of hear about it every once in a while but does anyone ever hear about it or go there?  I've never even met anyone from Arkansas. 

GREEK- Oklahoma State; look for the Cowboys to be incredibly confused when Arkansas State comes out wearing Oklahoma uniforms to start out the game, with the after effects lasting until halftime. In the 3rd quarter, the Cowboys realize the ruse and unleash a good ol' whuppin' upon the hapless Indians.

OLD BAG- If it was Arkansas then maybe, but Arkansas St....I don't think they can handle the Cowboys of Okl St.

SPAM- if ok. st is anything like ok go, then maybe their mad treadmill training antics will lead them to victory!

 

8. Kent State at Army

KSU  (GUAPO, OLD BAG, SPAM)   Army  (FUNK, SHADY, CLEATUS, BATMAN, DEERE, GREEK, PHILLY, XBOX)

FUNK- My flag football team could beat Kent State, and we haven't even played a game yet.

SHADY- I bet you that Army will run the ball a lot after what Minni did to KSU.

CLEATUS- Wasn't it the Army National Guard that shot those kids at Kent State during the Vietnam War?  What???  Too soon?

GREEK- Army; wait, is Joe trying to tell me this game ISN'T the oddball game of the week?!

OLD BAG- Can't root against Ohio...except when they play OSU of course. Go Flashes or whatever the heck you're called.

SPAM-kent read, kent write, kent state.  kent beat kent state??  no no, that's Army.  they are too busy figuring out why the army still has a football team when aparently there is a shortage of soldiers. 

 

9. Stanford at San Jose State

Stanford  (SHADY, OLD BAG, XBOX)   SJSU  (FUNK, CLEATUS, BATMAN, DEERE, GREEK, GUAPO, SPAM, PHILLY)

FUNK- I was going to take Stanford, but then I remembered that John Elway and Tiger Woods have already graduated and they don't have anybody else.

SHADY- The spread offense will give them some trouble but they will manage.

GREEK- San Jose State; how could the Greek pick against a team with the nickname of Spartans?! (well, we'll see if my statement is still true once Joe starts assigning us to Michigan State games)

OLD BAG- Stanford is way to smart for San Jose. Plus I like the tree mascot.

SPAM- every time i hear stanford, all i can think of is some type of 80's tv spoof called 'stanford and son'.  it would probably star denzel washington (complete with skull cap) and grab a few emmy's, but i doubt it would take any football titles.  i'll go with mr. jose state.

 

and the oddball game this week:  

10. Southern Methodist at North Texas

SMU  (FUNK, BATMAN, DEERE, GUAPO, OLD BAG, SPAM, PHILLY)   N. Texas (SHADY, CLEATUS, GREEK, XBOX) 

FUNK- THIS is the oddball game of the week?  What were the last 3 games??  Anyway, North Texas might like you to believe that they were holding back against Texas to not tip their hand to SMU, but the reality is that they are not good at football.

SHADY- They did manage to score 7 points against Texas.
CLEATUS-  I bet this game has as many people in the crowd as there are number of people in Joe's panel.
GREEK- I'm surprised that Southern Methodist even plays football anymore. Is Eric Dickerson still college eligible?
OLD BAG- I think we saw how pathetic North Texas looked on Saturday, why can't they repeat the performance. SMU Mustangs will win this won.

SPAM- on the eigth day, god created spam... at least that's what the methodists say.  they may not drink the grape juice every sunday, but they will definately beat north texas feeble attempt to regain their dignity after last weeks game.