Guest Panel Week 3 Predictions

Week 3 Guest Panel Games

1. Cincinnati at OSU

Cincinnati ( )   OSU (SHADY, OLD BAG, SPAM, FUNK, BATMAN, CLEATUS, DEERE, PHILLY, GUAPO, GREEK, XBOX)

SHADY-Not only will Zwick get some snaps but so will Boeckman

OLD BAG-Cincinnati....Bengals.....ah hell it doesn't matter. OSU

FUNK- I wouldn't mind getting a look at our backup qbs in this game.  I think there's a good chance of that.

BATMAN-  What a dominant performance for OSU v. Texas.

CLEATUS- Bearcats will look like Bearkittens.

GUAPO- Would anyone else like another slice of Bevo steak?

GREEK-  I wonder if Bob Huggins will be making a guest appearance as the Bearcats punter and continue to inflict his unique brand of "coaching" upon the University of Cincinnati?  I guess we'll see come Saturday afternoon!

 

2. Nebraska at USC

Nebraska (SHADY)   USC (OLD BAG, SPAM, FUNK, BATMAN, CLEATUS, DEERE, PHILLY, GUAPO, GREEK, XBOX)

SHADY-Believe it or not, I think they seriously have a chance.  This is Callahan's third year and I think that he's ready to put the Huskers back on the map.  USC won't be ready.

OLD BAG- I'm not sure what a cornhusker is and I sure as hell know I ain't going to pick one to win either.

SPAM- usc (as much as i hate to do it)

FUNK- Nebraska is returning to national relevance, but they're not quite there yet.  This game won't be close.

CLEATUS- Would love to see Nebraska walk away with a "W" but I don't think they can hang with the Trojans.

GUAPO- Where is Trev Alberts these days?

GREEK-  to Nebraska's credit though, I do expect the game to be relatively close. And by relatively close, I mean that USC will be able to pull its starters by midway through the second quarter.
 

3. Michigan at Notre Dame

Michigan (OLD BAG, GUAPO)    Notre Dame (SHADY, FUNK, BATMAN, CLEATUS, DEERE, PHILLY, GREEK, XBOX)

SHADY-I'm pulling for Michigan, I really am and even though the fact that no one is expecting them to win will fuel them, they still won't be able to get it done.   Brady Quinn should get raped.

OLD BAG- I hope the stars align, that Charlie Weis's belt needs a new belt hole, that Brady Quinn gets a prostate exam from the dr. on family guy and claims he was raped....actually I hope they both lose but for some reason I think right now I hate Notre Dame more. I can't say I want M@chigan to win, but I do want Notre Dame to lose. That's my final answer.

SPAM- michigan will win their own dimension, and notre dame will win in their own dimension.  fortunate for us, lloyd carr is too stupid and charlie weis is too fat to traverse the spacetime fabric to reach our dimension, so i am forfeighting my pick for this game.  i know for a fact that both teams eat sh*t for breakfast, and for that reason, both teams will loose.

FUNK- Michigan has not fared well in their first games of the season away from the Big House in recent years.  Combine that with the strong performance ND put up last week, and this could get ugly.  I don't think it will, but Notre Dame will win this one somehow.

BATMAN- Very diappointed in Penn State's Perfomance.  I looked forward to that game for 3 years.  Joe Paterno is a heck of a football coach.

CLEATUS-This is the game of all things evil.  Even picking a winner here makes my blood boil.  Staying true to what it means to be a buckeye I have to pick against Michigan. 

GUAPO- One of these times Notre Dame will actually lose, and El Guapo will be there to rub it in everyone's face.

GREEK-  no help from Touchdown Jesus will be needed here. Just put Tom Zbikowski out there, and he'll knock out each of the Michigan offensive players, one by one.

 

4. LSU at Auburn

LSU (SPAM, CLEATUS, PHILLY)    Auburn (SHADY, OLD BAG, FUNK, BATMAN, DEERE, GUAPO, GREEK, XBOX)

SHADY-They both have GREAT defenses but I don't see Russell getting it done in this type of situation.

OLD BAG- Auburn...I was saying Booourns. Auburn it is.

SPAM- lsu, defense is on a roll!

FUNK- Great SEC matchup.  It's Auburn's turn to win the SEC West.

CLEATUS- Auburn will get au-burnt in this upset. 

GUAPO- Auburn can prove it is a national title contender with a victory over the purple abomination.

GREEK-  the Tigers beat the Tigers.

 

5. Florida at Tennessee

Florida (SHADY, OLD BAG, BATMAN, CLEATUS, PHILLY, GUAPO, GREEK)    Tennessee (SPAM, FUNK, DEERE, XBOX)

SHADY-Well, the injury bug hit Tennessee right according to plan.   The question is whether or not Fulmer will have a job by the end of the season.

OLD BAG- Tennesee won last weekend because Air Force got greedy and for some reason went for 2 by running the ball (when it clearly says "air" in your school name). That's like seeing a bird run from danger when it can obviously fly. So I'm going with Florida.

SPAM- after the near miss with air force, tennessee will hopefully decide to show up to saturday's game to rally a victory!

FUNK- You guys are going to think I'm some sort of Tennessee homer, but Dr. Funkenstein actually grew up cheering for the Commodores.  Tennessee was looking past Air Force last week to Florida, and will be ready this week.

GUAPO- Former football powerhouse seeking level-headed decision maker.  Must have leadership skills and an ability to close in the 4th quarter.  Apply within.

GREEK-  my law clinic partner is a Florida alum, so, I'm kinda obligated here. Plus, Tennessee barely beat friggin' Air Force at home last week. The Volunteer Navy appears to be on the verge of sinking.

 

6. Texas Tech at TCU

Texas Tech(OLD BAG, SPAM, GUAPO)   TCU (SHADY, FUNK, BATMAN, CLEATUS, DEERE, PHILLY, GREEK, XBOX)

SHADY-I don't really like either of these teams but I'll give the edge to the home team.

OLD BAG- How many f-ing schools are there in Texas. Not sure what a horned frog is but I'm sure it can't last for 60 minutes. Texas Tech.

SPAM- just to make tcu mad, i hope texas tech starts tcu's journey as far away from a bcs bowl as possible with this early season upset.
FUNK- I didn't even know Texas Tech had a football team.

CLEATUS- Why do I always think of that movie "PCU" from the mid 90's…

GUAPO- Texas matchup.  Boring.

GREEK-  can't pick against a team with the nickname of "Horned Frogs." Just can't.

 

and the oddball game this week...

7. Tennessee Tech at Middle Tennessee

Tennessee Tech (DEERE)    Middle Tennessee (SHADY, OLD BAG, SPAM, FUNK, BATMAN, CLEATUS, PHILLY, GUAPO, GREEK, XBOX)

OLD BAG- Reaching in grab bag of sh*t....Middle Tennessee

SPAM- the slogan 'when tennessee's best choose a college...' is enough for me to pick mtsu.

FUNK- Aha!  Dr. Funkenstein knows all about Tennessee football.  MTSU wins easily.

CLEATUS- Look for Middle Tennessee State to be in the national championship game against OSU…..or not.   

GUAPO-  Interesting Fact: Inbred individuals exhibit reduced health and fitness and lower levels of fertility.

GREEK- just based on these two schools and the University of Tennessee, I've determined that the state of Tennessee has entirely too many colleges for one state.