Michigan Jokes

Ah, it is Michigan week. Here are some jokes that were sent to me. If you feel some others should be posted, send them my way and I will look them over. Note to any Michigan fans, these are simply jokes, so don't send me nasty emails, and I am sure on some Michigan website they have the same jokes but with the school name changed.


Enjoy!



It was reported that the Michigan Football Coach Lloyd Carr will only be dressing 20 players for the Ohio State game ...the rest of the players will have to dress themselves!



What's the only sign of intelligent life in Ann Arbor? Columbus: 187 Miles



A blind guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a Michigan joke?" The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I am a Michigan Graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he is a Michigan Graduate. The guy right next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs. and he is also a Michigan Graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?" The first guy says, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times"



Directions to Michigan........ North till you smell crap, then West till you step in it.



A Michigan fan and an Ohio State fan go to the restroom and stand next to each other at the urinal. They finish about the same time. The Michigan fan goes to the sink to wash his hands and the Ohio State fan starts to walk out. The Michigan fan yells that the Ohio State fan and says hey in Michigan they teach us to wash our hands after going to the bathroom. The Ohio State fan replies back. At Ohio State they teach us not to pee on our hands...



An Ann Arbor judge was ruling in the case of a ten year old boy who accused his parents of beating him. After reviewing the evidence, the judge announced that his intention to make the boy's grandmother his custodian. The boy protested this, stating that the grandmother also
beat the boy. Finally, the judge awarded custody of the boy to Lloyd Carr and the Wolverines, since the judge rightly determined that they can't beat anybody.



Why did they change the playing field at "The Big House" to cardboard? Because Michigan has always looked better on paper.