Guest Panel Week 9 Predictions

Week 9

Outside of the OSU game, the selection of games this week may seem strange. In honor of Halloween, which most people are celebrating this weekend, I have picked an odd assortment of games. Picking the winners of these games may be difficult for the Guest Panel and some might fear that their records are in danger. Beware!

1. Minnesota vs. OSU

Minnesota ( ) OSU (CLEATUS, BATMAN, GUAPO, SHADY, GREEK, FUNK, DEERE, OLD BAG, XBOX, SPAM, PHILLY)

CLEATUS- Minnesota Gopher another loss.
BATMAN- the only amusing part of picking ohio state games is deciding whether they will cover the spread, last week I was dead wrong. I think this week they cover the spread.

GUAPO- We need to use this opportunity to shore up the defense before the apocalypse

SHADY- I'm selling my Michigan ticket for $2500 and if any of you think that some rich alum won't pay that price, seriously, this is Ohio State-Michigan.

GREEK- just another speed bump on the road to the #1 vs. #2 showdown on November 18th. What is OSU favored by in this game, 500 points?!

FUNK- You can only wonder what the Buckeyes might look like nowadays if we had selected Mason instead of Tressel. My guess is more rushing yards, less hardware. Well, at least ol' Glenn has lovely Minneapolis in November to cheer him up after this beating.

OLD BAG- Minnesota, stick with your pseudo Canadian accents and leave the football to the Buckeyes.

SPAM- Takeru Kobayashi is in the house again this week! Since I still own SPAM Sandwichsan's soul, due to our little food eating contest, I will do another week of picks. Don't worry, I will eventually let that "pork product not even fit for a hotdog" do his own picks eventually....

2. Kentucky vs. Mississippi State

Kentucky (CLEATUS, BATMAN, SHADY, GREEK, FUNK, SPAM, PHILLY) Mississippi State (GUAPO, DEERE, OLD BAG, XBOX )

CLEATUS- Does anyone remember 4th grade when there was always that one kid who would showoff by spelling Mississippi? M-I-SS-I-SS-I-PP-I. Well, Kentucky is like the 4 th grade bully who kicked the "Mississippi kid" in the shins.

BATMAN- Mississippi State made a huge mistake hiring Sylvester Croom.

GUAPO- Eenie Meenie Minie Mo...

SHADY- Mississippi State sucks

GREEK- who knew that either of these schools still had football teams?! When analysts speak of the SEC being the toughest football conference in America, I don't think that they're referring to these two teams.

FUNK- Woof! Classic SEC doormat vs. new-fangled SEC doormat.

OLD BAG- Kentucky has a football team? Mississippi St will win this bottom SEC dweller game.

3. North Texas vs. Troy

North Texas (CLEATUS) Troy (BATMAN, GUAPO, SHADY, GREEK, FUNK, DEERE, OLD BAG, XBOX, SPAM, PHILLY )

CLEATUS- "Troy" with Brad Pitt….What a completely HORRIBLE movie. Don't ever see it. More people may be watching this game than the number of people who actually went to the theater to watch the movie, and that's only 37 people.

BATMAN- Nearly beat FSU earlier this year, should handle N. Texas

GUAPO- North Texas is a pretty good high school team.

SHADY- Didn't they win a couple of close games this year

GREEK- the sole reason I pick Troy is because they have a massive home field advantage at Movie Galley Veterans Stadium, along
the lines of Happy Valley, Death Valley, and many other college football valleys. Wait, wait, redact that entire previous statement. And on a side note, I'm all for corporate sponsorship of stadium names (as long as it means that ticket prices are lower), but, this is a bit ridiculous.

FUNK- North Texas really needs a noun in their team nickname. Two adjectives don't make a win.

OLD BAG- I saw North Texas roll over and die against Texas. I saw Troy almost beat Florida St. (for what thats worth). So I'm going with Troy.

4. Memphis vs. Marshall

Memphis (SHADY, OLD BAG, XBOX ) Marshall (CLEATUS, BATMAN, GUAPO, GREEK, FUNK, DEERE, SPAM, PHILLY )

CLEATUS- Hey Memphis, stick to blues and country music. Football ain't yo' thang.

BATMAN- A Zen Parable for enlightenment :A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him. Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted.
GUAPO- Marshall manhandles Memphis making many...marshmellows? Mmm, marshmellows.
SHADY- I'm just guessing now

GREEK- the days of Chad Pennington, Randy Moss, and Byron Leftwich are LONG gone (not unlike the days of Ben Roethlisberger at
Miami). They still do have the "Thundering Herd" nickname though, which is pretty damn cool.
FUNK- The Herd lost at Tennessee 33-7. The Tigers lost at home to Tennessee 41-7. Neither team has any players I know anymore, so I don't know any other way to compare them.

OLD BAG- Both of these teams were better last year, which makes this difficult to pick. I'll go with Memphis.

5. East Carolina vs. Southern Miss

East Carolina (GUAPO, FUNK ) Southern Miss (CLEATUS, BATMAN, SHADY, GREEK, DEERE, OLD BAG, XBOX, SPAM, PHILLY )

CLEATUS- The educational system in the Carolina's is pretty poor. Most of the players probably can't even read the play book. This will give Southern Miss a small advantage.

BATMAN- Classic memory: when I first moved to Ontario in one of my first days at OMS I remember talking to Joe. We were walking from band thru the gym and he was telling me about every radio station from the beginning of the dial on up. After he was done, I knew I was never going to remember any of that, but I remembered it was nice of him share that info with me because I was new to town.

GUAPO- That makes teams with North, South, and East names, but where is one with West? Joe is clearly biased against West teams.

GREEK- not exactly on par with the Notre Dame vs. Michigan State "Game of the Century" in 1966, but, pretty darn close.

FUNK- The Pirates tame the Golden Eagles and make them perch on their shoulders.

OLD BAG- Where is East Carolina? Whatever, Southern Mississippi will win.

6. Army vs. vs. Tulane

Army (GUAPO, GREEK, OLD BAG) Tulane (CLEATUS, BATMAN, SHADY, FUNK, DEERE, XBOX, SPAM, PHILLY )

CLEATUS- Tulane will win because Bush has deployed the Army football players to Iraq. He thinks we not only need to set up a democratic government in the middle east, but also need to teach them how to play football. Bush was quoted as saying, "Them Iraqi-ites would love football. We'll teach them that trick Statue of Library play! Huh, huh, It'll be neat."

BATMAN- I predict St. Loius will with this year's world series.
GUAPO- Since when is Navy spelled T-U-L-A-N-E?

GREEK- the game should be renamed "The game where the Greek loses his vice-like grip on first place," because that's likely what
will happen. Hopefully next week we'll be picking some games where the attendance in the stadium is higher than that of my high school football team.

FUNK- Both teams are coming off consecutive losses but have beaten one opponent from a BCS conference. Too close to call: I'll take the Green Wave at home in a snoozer.

OLD BAG- I support the troops over seas and on the field. Army.