Guest Panel Week 1 Predictions

1. Northern Illinois at OSU

Northern Illinois ( )     OSU (GREEK, FUNK, OLD BAG, CLEATUS, GUAPO, BAT, DEERE, PHILLY, XBOX, SPAM, SHADY)

GREEK- Ohio State; and Joe complains about getting his alumni ticket bumped from Penn State to Northern Illinois...some of us never
even had that chance Joe. WE NEVER HAD THE CHANCE!!!!

FUNK- Garrett Wolfe and the Huskies look past the Buckeyes to Iowa, an upset they might at least have a shot at.  Why do we even pick the OSU game?  We should at least pick against the spread or something.

OLD BAG- Do I have to even waste my time to type in the winner of the first game. Come on your wasting my precious bag finding time (I change outfits as often as homer simpson). OSU will be the obvious winner.

CLEATUS- Look for Troy Smith to have 4 or more touchdown passes in a completely one sided victory for OSU.

GUAPO- Would you say Ohio State has a "plethora" of offensive weapons?

SPAM- osu will definately triumph over the huskies.  i will be looking for the smith-ginn one-two punch to put some points on the board.  i will also pour one out for my hommie clarret...

SHADY- Don't be surprised if the OSU defense plays crappy.  No way Jim Tressel will show his formations for this game when he can get them ready for Texas.  That's when he'll show his big guns.  Also, don't forget that NI is projected to win the MAC either so this game really won't be that much of a blowout.  I guess they have a superstar running back.
 

 

2. Notre Dame at Georgia Tech

Notre Dame (GREEK, FUNK, OLD BAG, CLEATUS, BAT, DEERE, PHILLY, XBOX, SHADY)    Georgia Tech (GUAPO, SPAM)

GREEK- Notre Dame; as much as I hate Notre Dame, I can't pick against them. Plus Brady Quinn's sister (aka AJ Hawk's fiancee) is
really damn hot.

FUNK- Notre Dame's suspect defense is probably going to cost them against someone, but it's not going to be Georgia Tech.

OLD BAG- I hate to pick Notre Dame to win, but they will. Last year the ND defense was as fast as the coach, but I'm sure things have changed (team and coach no longer are sponsored by the Tee-Jaye's barnyard buster).

CLEATUS-   Notre Dame wins but Brady Quinn gets hurt late in the game knocking him out for the rest of the season.  He'll then turn to his pro football player brother-in-law, A.J. Hawk, to cover his medical bills.  

GUAPO-  Ball and Johnson, what a package!

SPAM- i hate notre dame.  not only that, i'm hoping notre dame is still shaken up from the beating we laid upon them in january, so i'm picking georgia tech as a sleeper to upset the irish.  did i mention i hate notre dame??

SHADY- I really don't like them but this will be a good warm up for Brady Quinn.  I actually think they'll be down at the half though.
 

 

3. California at Tennesee

California (GREEK, OLD BAG, GUAPO, DEERE, PHILLY, XBOX )    Tennesee (FUNK, CLEATUS, BAT, SPAM, SHADY)

GREEK- California (in a slight upset); look for the "Vol Navy" to plunder the California Golden Bears' booty after they win the game.

FUNK- Marshawn Lynch has a Rocky start to his Heisman campaign.

OLD BAG- What the blue bags is a volunteer? Are they the suckers who get paid...oh wait don't get paid to do work. Heck even Wal-mart pays me and all I do is crap in their bags. I'm going with the Bears on this one.

CLEATUS- Cleatus predicts this first upset of the season.  Yee-Haw!!!

GUAPO- Let it not be said that El Guapo has an East Coast bias.

BAT- Tennessee needs to win, Rocky Top will find a wat to get it done.

SPAM- with the game being in rocky top and cal missing mixon, i think tennesse will be able to rally for a win.
SHADY-  It's the start of the season and no one for the Vols has gotten injured yet.  It will be difficult for Cal to compete with the change in timezone and the crazy Rocky Top crowd.

 

4. Florida State at Miami (FL)

Florida State (FUNK, CLEATUS, GUAPO, DEERE )   Miami (GREEK, OLD BAG, BAT, PHILLY, XBOX, SPAM, SHADY) 

GREEK- Miami; Bobby Bowden is still alive?! You're s***tin' me!! For real?!

FUNK- The real question after last year's game is, "Is anyone taking the over?"

OLD BAG- Wow.....can they both lose? I'm gonna say this game is not about points but about who has the least amount of rape and assault convictions before gametime. I'm going with Miami on this one, they will out shoot the Seminoles. ( no pun on shooting)

CLEATUS- This game could go either way but when I'm going with Florida State.   

GUAPO- No matter the result, El Guapo will hate the winner.

BAT- I enjoy watching the FSU v Mia game each year as much as any other.  I always root for Miami and will pull for them again this year.  Last year was sloppy because it was the first game for both teams.  Watch Bobby Bowden's expression at the end of this one.

SPAM- based of the lucky penny i stumbled upon at the treebar last friday... miami will take this one.

SHADY- They're playing at home, they're good, they have sexy cheerleaders, and they are known for their "soldiers."

 

and the oddball game this week:

5. Alcorn State at Louisiana-Monroe

Alcorn State (CLEATUS, GUAPO, BAT )    Louisiana-Monroe (GREEK, FUNK, OLD BAG, DEERE, PHILLY, XBOX, SPAM, SHADY)

GREEK- Louisiana-Monroe; the Greek does not believe in college football teams named after nuts. Oh wait...my bad, I do (see pick #1).

FUNK- Indians, Braves??  I'm still not happy about Steve McNair leaving the Titans for the Ravens, so I'm taking it out on Alcorn State.

OLD BAG- If your school sounds like a nut or represents one (see game 1) I vote for you. But not this time. I don't know what Alcorn or Acorn State is but I'm going with Louisiana-Monroe.

CLEATUS- The name "Louisiana-Monroe" is like a married woman's hyphenated name.  Either keep your maiden name, "Louisiana", or adapt your husband's name, "Monroe". Come on Mrs. Louisiana-Monroe, sh*t or get off the pot when it comes to choosing your name. For this reason alone, I pick Alcorn State.  

GUAPO- Alcorn sounds like acorn, which is a nut, which is sort of like a Buckeye.
SPAM- louisiana-monroe warhawks will prevail!  for many moons they were known as the Indians.  i belive these indians share a common thread with the cleveland indians, and they are on a winning streak... so boo-hiss to all the so-called politically correct universities who are changing their names...  go indians!
SHADY-  Who the hell?  I don't think they're the Ragin' Cajuns but you gotta have love for the Louisiana home team.